[Be sure to check out Part 1 for a little history on Rankin/Bass Productions]
by Taylor Zaccario
Part 3 of 3
NESTOR THE LONG EARED CHRISTMAS DONKEY (1977)
Here's a recipe you won't find in Julia Child: Take one cup Rudolph, one cup Dumbo, add three tablespoons of The Little Drummer Boy, and then just a pinch of Bambi. Cook for 24 minutes and let cool. You've just made Nestor the Long Eared Christmas Donkey.
If you want a better summation of this odd little masterpiece, listen to Roger Miller's song of the same name, the inspiration for the short. But for those Roger Miller-loathers out there, he's my take:
The story begins in the "present day" stable behind Santa's workshop. Santa's donkey (didn't you know Santa had a donkey?) tells us the story of his ancestor, Nestor. Yes, sir.
Nestor, you might surmise from the title, is a donkey with long ears. They are so freakishly enlarged that the poor guy is constantly tripping on them, falling flat on his ass (ass? Get it? donkey? jackass?... keep reading...)
All the other reindeer donkeys in the stable make fun of Rudolph Nestor for his abnormality. He's a real misfit. On Christmas night, Nestor inadvertently screws up Olaf the Donkey-Keeper's sale of some donkey into slavery to the Roman Empire. Like any slave trader worth his salt, Olaf tosses Nestor out into a blizzard.
Nestor's mother hauls ass (get it now?) into the storm after him. She finds shelter and makes Nestor sleep beneath her, the warmth of her body keeping him alive. Nestor wakes the next morning to find his mother frozen to death. And just like in Bambi, you're scarred for life.
Let me be clear about this: Nestor's mother is dead. Beneath that mound of snow we see him sobbing beside lies his mother's... frozen... corpse.
Merry. Christmas.
Orphaned and homeless, Nestor wanders the forest alone. He meets a cherub named Tilly (voiced by the iconic Brenda Vaccaro). Tilly has been sent down from you-know-where by you-know-who (God, not Voldemort) to guide Nestor to Bethlehem.
Once arriving at the outskirts of the city, Tilly leaves Nestor at a stable, where yet another sadistic group of barnyard animals give Nestor the business.
A married couple arrives in need of a donkey to take them across the stretch of desert to Bethlehem. Despite another cruel donkey-keeper telling the pair that Nestor is essentially a dented car, the couple chooses the long eared donkey for "his gentle eyes."
The wife, who's got a bun in the oven, rides on Nestor's back across the desert. A terrible, blinding sandstorm makes the journey perilous and conceals their path to the city. Time runs out! Hope is lost! So are they!
Thank goodness Nestor's ears are long enough to hear a voice from above that guides them to Bethlehem. See! His abnormality was a good thing! Take that, jackasses!!!
They arrive safety, but -- don't'cha know it -- there's not a single room open at the inn. Remembering fond memories of feeling warm and protected by his mother in their stable, Nestor takes the couple to a nearby manger. That night, the woman, Mary, gives birth to a child.
Guess who?
Nestor returns to the original stable he was kicked out of. He reunites with the same abusers who mocked him and indirectly led to his mother's death. But all is forgiven!
We return to "present day" where Santa's donkey is joined by the Big Man in Red himself, the missus, Rudolph, and a gaggle of reindeer and elves. They gather around the Christmas tree to sing the praises of Nestor the Long Eared Christmas Donkey.
The donkey that saved Christianity.
You still with me? Okay, good.
I didn't own this one on VHS, and I didn't see it until I was 12 or 13. Probably just the right age when the true grimness of existence becomes apparent. Of all the second and third tier Rankin/Bass movies, this is my unfettered favorite. All the reasons most people might be turned off to it, I find lovely: Depressing, nihilistic, redemptive, uplifting, soul wrenching, tear jerking, good tunes to hum. This movie just ticks all the boxes for me.
It would be very easy to dismiss this film as an unoriginal photocopy of Rudolph, Dumbo, Little Drummer Boy and Bambi. But if you are going to plagiarize, do it well. By blending the best elements from those movies, Nestor becomes entirely enjoyable on its own merits. At 24 minutes, Romeo Muller's script is tightly plotted, every moment counts and the story steamrolls forward.
Children, who aren't completely shattered, will learn a good message in a simple, coherent way. Adults will be moved by the honest emotions of the piece particularly the sacrifice of Nestor's mother and those sad eyes of Nestor himself. Even those with frosty, chilly souls can't help but be charmed and moved by Nestor's plight.
Unlike Pinocchio's Christmas, the songs sung by Roger Miller are major earworms that will burrow deep into your brain. In anticipation of writing this article, I couldn't help but hum the title theme song by Roger Miller all morning. Miller is one of the big draws of this short.
Rankin/Bass usually had a celebrity to narrate their specials. Fred Astaire, Jimmy Durante, Joel Grey, and Andy Griffith all served the role throughout the years. Roger Miller's homespun accent and honky-tonk twang are not only pleasing to our less freakishly long ears, but also perfectly suited for the story. After all, the short was inspired by his own song.
(For those of you unaware, Miller is the voice of the rooster, Alan-a-Dale, in Disney's Robin Hood, for which he provided several songs and the narration.)
And, of course, there's Brenda Vaccaro. No movie with Brenda Vaccaro can be a 100% stinker.
I'm sure some kids nowadays might run screaming from the room into the awaiting couches of their therapists. Maybe Roger Miller isn't to your liking. And perhaps some of the religious elements might put you off, though those story beats never try to proselytize.
I think this film is terrific. Don't undervalue it as a hodgepodge. Simultaneously hum-worthy and tear-jerky, a story with pathos on the level of anything by Shakespeare, Homer, or O'Neill; and a sweet message about acceptance. Nestor the Long Eared Christmas Donkey deserves the same attention as all those films it stole from.
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